Wow.
It's funny how that is one of the only words I feel describe me, right now. It's a odd feeling really; the one of leaving your house and not really knowing how to describe to others those feelings. How about I try? Maybe I'll get there. :)
Scared, that's the first word that comes to my mind when I think about it. It's a scary thing to not know what the future holds for you or not know what to expect from it. From a child, even though I never knew what would come along, I still have the feeling of security in my home; now it seems like its fading a bit. I've had question run through my mind about that, like what do you do when you lose your security? How do you keep yourself from being scared and not worry? Although questions like that have wondered in my mind like a million times each day as it goes by, I always end up with the same conclusion. What sort of conclusion, would you ask. Well, it's simply really, Leave It All On God. That's what I've come up with. He'll make sure I'll have my security and take the feeling of being scared away. The bad thing is, that I often forget that, but as time goes on I'm learning to let it go and leave it on Him.
Afraid, this one is shown and understood to me in many forms. As I study myself I have began to realize that I fear many things. I'm afraid of successfulness; of not being as good as I hope and want to be. I'm afraid of not fitting in but always feel as if I am an outsider to all. I'm afraid of feeling the emotion of missing my family, which might have the possibility of be making wrong and stupid decisions. I'm afraid that in the end of the day I'll just end up doing my own will and not God's. Fear- I've come to the belief that it's hardest thing for me to go up against. How do you learn to say no to something you fear greatly and is in your mind all the time? Can you put it behind you and never care about it anymore, or not? At times, when I'm not so think headed, I find completely and incredibly amazing that all I have to do is ask God to take my fears away. And the surprising thing that comes by asking Him it, is that He does. He does take my fears and doubts away.
Happy, the funny thing is, that out of no where there are those moments of complete happiness, joy, and eagerness. It's amusing to see and to understand how in those moments of happiness all the fear goes away; it vanishes. The excitement I feel can be compared to a little child's happiness when given a candy. I'm positive everyone has seen how the adorable little faces of those child's light up, just for a piece of candy. I often have the feeling of being a child again, of having that excitement and happiness just by getting a candy. I want to have the brilliant and bright smile on my own lips. I've lately realized how incredibly awesome it is that I can be a child to God; that He is my father and that I don't have to prove anything to Him because He already knows how amazing, brilliant, beautiful, loving, smart, silly, etc. I am.
I've come to realize and believe that it's incredible to know that He's always there to lean on.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
What a Saturday is.
Have you ever thought of what a Saturday is?
For example, does your family always have certain things they do on their Saturdays? Or is it a plan, simply day, like every other day of the week??
Saturdays for my family, are usually the clean up days. I remember since a little girl, my mom would always have a small list of things my sisters and I had to do. Usually, they came along the lines of this: 1. clean your room, 2. clean the bathroom, 3. vacuum your room, living room etc. 4. get the clothes out of the washer machine and hang them outside in the balcony. Those were the typical chores. The Saturdays chores. You see, during the week, we had school and reading, so there was no time for cleaning. So, Saturday it was, since Sunday is God's day.
It's funny to see how God gives us a free day -at least for us teens- to use it as we may. However, I think cleaning is the best. First because, well, it reminds me how often we need God to clean us out, as well. Every so often, we need to have a day of cleaning, not only of out house, but for our lives too. Of course, I'm sure that is needed more often than the cleaning up of the house.
How about you think about it. What's a Saturday for you?
For example, does your family always have certain things they do on their Saturdays? Or is it a plan, simply day, like every other day of the week??
Saturdays for my family, are usually the clean up days. I remember since a little girl, my mom would always have a small list of things my sisters and I had to do. Usually, they came along the lines of this: 1. clean your room, 2. clean the bathroom, 3. vacuum your room, living room etc. 4. get the clothes out of the washer machine and hang them outside in the balcony. Those were the typical chores. The Saturdays chores. You see, during the week, we had school and reading, so there was no time for cleaning. So, Saturday it was, since Sunday is God's day.
It's funny to see how God gives us a free day -at least for us teens- to use it as we may. However, I think cleaning is the best. First because, well, it reminds me how often we need God to clean us out, as well. Every so often, we need to have a day of cleaning, not only of out house, but for our lives too. Of course, I'm sure that is needed more often than the cleaning up of the house.
How about you think about it. What's a Saturday for you?
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
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