walls?

The invisible being: a wall.

A form not many understand or see.

Yet it's there.

Swallowing every bone I own.

I hear words in forms of riddles.

She says, oh so easily, you have walls.

I deny this existence. Of course.

You have walls, men don't know how to come through.

You'd think I'd know if I'd have my own walls.

Then the moment comes.

I freak, I stress, say I don't know what to do.

You have a wall. She says.

A wall keeping men at a distance.

Apparently, never to come near.

how is this possible. To have a wall, not desired.

But I have come to see.

I do have this wall.

I cling up and turn away.

Effortlessly, I blame my reaction on protecting the other.

Saying, I care more for them than myself.

All the while, I have a wall keeping them an arm-lenths away.

coffee shop

Recently, I have spent a good amount of time in coffee shops. I either do homework or spend time with my sister/friends. The time has been extremely enjoyable and worthwhile. I have spent more money than I probably should, but if I have it -- then why not?

In the past, coming home has felt like a cage. These past two visits, have felt like a new beginning and refreshing. I look forward to life outside of a Campus bubble. This does not mean I do not want to study anymore, but it means - I've descovered - that I'm ready to be away from a main campus. I want to live in an apartment with neighbors who I did not know before I moved in. I want to live in a city and take the buss. I want to be amongst people who may or may not be strangers. I look forward to a life in and out of a coffee shop.

I don't know, it's just something I really do enjoy beyond words.