bike ride today

I stroll down the hill

I need not peddle, the down

hill will take me all the way to the end.

I don't throw my hands up, but

I fly. This is how birds feel, I think and smile.

But I don't care how they feel.

I am free

as I stroll down the hill.

I look forward to the day for reading with pleasure. I miss loving words and enjoying a certain book. My mind is swapped, constantly. Little times does it take breaks. Even then, I barely let it breath. I don't let it dwell where it wants and later I stay up all night. Awake. I understand why people begin to lose their mind from lack of sleep.

A sleepless mind: you cannot control.

I love knowing plans will be made. But changes will come and interrupt that silly little firmly made plan. A passion will rest itself somewhere in my being. Hopefully, my heart. I want it to come, I want to know my drive. Right now, I'm just waiting to discover it.

They say: it's about the journey. NOT. the destination.

I suppose there's truth. What a cliche.

The journey.

What is the journey?

obstacles, reversals, barriers

What will my JOURNEY be. What of the CLIMAX......

Will I have a climax?

I suppose....

Who's to know but me.

I have no idea what I am saying.

it was a bitter kind

call it what you may---

but it was bitter and unkind

an untamed animal, looking for play

rotten--all my sins poured out

as weeping began.

the darkness around me hollowed

that darn oil change

I can't forget how I felt.

How I feel.

What I wish.

People ask what's the first thing I notice.

I think I've discovered my true answer:

a smile.

My eyes fall there, before anything else.

Your smile.

I saw it.

How kindly you spoke.

How gentle you looked.

How nice you were.

The moment replays in my mind.

I can't push it out.

Will I drain in my unrealistic hope?

I never thought a simply oil change would have caused so much trouble in my head. Then again, I'm not surprised. I know where this will end - there's no reason to hope.