to weep tears of the heart

Can I cry? I want to cry. It's been so long since I last cried. I want tears to flow -- restlessly. To relieve the unnerving feeling my heart keeps feeling. Why must tears only come when I don't wish them to? I want to cry. I want tears to flow. For when I cry, I feel cleansed. I want to feel cleansed. Though, I guess that is only temporary.

I want to cry for the lost soul of my cousin. How I wish we would speak. But we don't. I want to cry. I want to weep for him. I want to pray for him. Intercede for his beautiful heart. But I often forget and the day slips by and he remains there. In the dark. He's search, I know. I feel it. He doesn't know what he's searching for. I want to show him. Prove to him, a love far above and beyond his understanding exists. I love him. I care for him. I barely know him. The beauty of God is found in love -- for strangers.

I want to cry for my sin. I look forward to the day of waking before Him and knowing my life is sinless. How I hate sin.